I’m a former regular person who went looking for answers.

Here is my journey

2021 - Mom of one, divorced, democrat, agnostic, social introvert, friends and boyfriend, working in mental health. SSRIs since 2001. Covid - eh, I think its overblown, but also okay with getting the vax to keep my job.

2023 - What the heck is Sleepy Joe Biden doing? Why are people getting on-board with ideas that defy basic common sense? Why are corporations so involved in social justice issues?

Who controls corporations? How did our monetary system begin? Let me check X, let me check YouTube. Ohh, those old Classical/Romanesque/Gothic buildings are so amazing. How DID they build them before electricity and in the barren frontiers of the USA when our population was so low? Why were the doors so high? Why were there no bathrooms?

Are we ‘evolving’ or ‘devolving’? Is there really evil in this world? I’ll read some David Icke. Oh no. Things are worse than I thought. Yes, everything here needs to kill something else to survive. In brutal ways. And we might be in a frequency range that is severely limited, but we think it’s the whole of reality. And other frequency realms can interact with us. And they like the low vibes. We are generating their low vibes. Because they set up this world for that purpose. We are their farm animals.

This circle of life still sucks a lot of the time. Friendship problems seem to abound. Okay, I’m making it through. I’m thinking, a lot. I’m using logic here. I’m reading. I’m listening. Reincarnation is real, UVA has documented cases of it. NDEs are real and they wipe out memories of ‘all the answers’ - what’s happening there? It’s okay. I’m manifesting, I’m high vibration. Shit, bad things are still happening. Wtf is going on. Let me think some more. Okay, suffering is understandable for one life go-around. After that, we should be able to get out. Wow, even people who have almost died in the worst circumstances are sent back to their broken bodies and lives. That’s not reassuring. Simulation theory - yes, that’s fascinating. Lots of smart guys talking about that. Looks like consciousness is an undefinable energy interacting with holographic information data bits. Our bodies aren’t really ‘solid’. Nothing is solid. Our consciousness and bodies interface with information that makes us register physical reality.

2024 - Nah, c’mon, this life has such great things to offer. Sure, politics are basically a TV show, and psyops abound, but it will be okay. I’ll become spiritual, finally. I’ll join a church. It’s so nice here, we sing and feel so good. I’m weaning off my SSRI’s. But wait, why are humans being punished? If Jesus saved us? Is he coming back soon? Ah, the NDE-ers say it’s for our soul growth. That makes sense. I AM more evolved than I once was, I think. Well, I was so happy as a kid, but then bad things happened. Lots of soul growth there. I turned into an empathic person.

2025 - I don’t know, man. I’m all confused. Life is getting harder. My boyfriend said he wanted nothing to do with all this spirituality and existential shit. I’m going it alone. Again. And it feels harder than ever. I don’t want to go back on SSRIs but I’m struggling. Oh, psilocybin is now coming forward in a new way - microdosing. Neuroplasticity. Nice, it’s helping. Let me try a macrodose. Ah, that’s cool, we’re all connected. Oh dip, my trauma is really releasing. It was all an illusion of separation. I am one and the same with the beauty, with the pain. It’s the circle of life.

2026 - Oh wow, I found a YouTube channel NDEResearchProject that really unpacks the unsettling side of these NDEs. This process seems really unfair. The astral realm is like here with hierarchies and hidden knowledge? What can I trust? Go within. Save myself. Ground myself. Find the ‘me’ underneath the Matrix programming. What am I? Where am I? I’m getting there. No SSRIs. No more psilocybin. Just me, standing with me, every day. What’s true to me? I love my child. I love nature. I’m ready to live this life, really be present. And I’m ready to leave when the time comes. Like, really leave, the whole system. It takes more than just faith. Everything hard takes effort, will and determination. Preparation needs to happen now. There are perils ahead, in this life and after. But I can do this. I deserve freedom. And you do, too.

- A.H. Ray

connect@livingcodeconnection.com